I don't know how to start my story, but I guess I should start at the
beginning. Before that I plead to you to read this email with an open
mind and without any doubt. Everything I will tell you is factual and
can be proven.
I was born illegitimate in the USA which is quite normal there. My
mother and father were separating before I was conceived so on my
conception my mother wanted an abortion. My father raised by
Pakistanis was against it and agreed to take me from my birth and
raise me by himself. He had just separated from his wife who he had 2
children with because he had beaten her. When I was born though my mom
went to court to try and get primary custody over me. My father
already had a new girlfriend when I was born and she constantly beat
me as a child. As i got around the age 5 6 my father started beating
me too. I loved my father very much at the time though. He made me lie
in court that he didn't beat me and I lied for him. When people saw my
bruises it was just lies and soon I had no real friends because I was
constantly lieing. I saw my dad was doing wrong, but I couldn't hate
him so I tried to help as I got older. 3xs my dad was accused of
beating me and 3xs i denied it. I will not make any excuses, but I had
no one in my life besides him since my childhood. When I turned 8 he
remarried a lady who had been in out of jail her whole life was 20 and
already had one year old son. She constantly beat me as she wanted to
kill me. My father himself beat me so there was no stopping her from
his side. Many times i had to miss a few days of school because she
had bruised my whole face. I was in a constant abusive atmosphere. My
stepmother at times beat her own son. The police had to come many
times to our house to stop the fighting who were called by the
neighbors. My stepmother had my dad get her son to her because she had
no money to fight in court for him. Her parents had taken him from her
because of her violent behavior my father even had to get her out of
jail a few times. After my dad married my life became hell. She was
always making my dad angry to make him beat me and when he wasn't
there she would beat me. I believe my father loves me as his daughter,
but he naturally an aggressive person and has been put against me by
stepmom and soon after my grandparents too. When I was 11 my father
was sick of unemployment in USA he did his master's degree and we
moved out of our rented house in America to Pakistan where my
grandparents lived. Before that my stepmom had to adopt me otherwise I
couldn't leave even though my mother hadn't bothered to see me after
the age of 3 or even talk to me once. I was happy for I thought my
grandparents might love me and that I would be able to start over with
my life which had been full of lies. I wanted to wash away the past
and start with the truth.
On coming to Pakistan I learned my mistake for a month or so my
grandparents discouraged my stepmom from beating me, but she would say
that she will divorce and take my grandparents 2 newest grandchildren
away that were her kids with my dad.
My grandparents started hating me as I was just an illegitimate
grandchild and that is a disgrace in Pakistan. They started telling my
dad to send me away and helped my stepmother in her beatings. My
grandmother who is a rather bad women would at times beat me herself
even though she was so old. I am a very non violent person so i
usually was on the ground curled up holding my hands up to defend
myself. My school became my home as in Pakistan I was not allowed
outside the house only rarely in the beginning. I was shunned insulted
and abused in my own house. I guess that was one of the reasons my
stepmom did all this to make my grandparents give her money to my
stepmom and her children. Every morning I would get on the bus myself
and go to school. I would come home run up in my room and hide there
the rest of the day.If I went out of my room some fight and beating
would start so I stayed there all day hiding.
When I was 14 I met my current boyfriend. He was funny, protective,
sensible and sensitive basically everything I needed. We started going
out together dose rare times I able to go out maybe once a month.
That's when my dad found out. He saw my phone and beat me again asking
me who the guy was. I wouldn't tell him because I had no idea what he
would do to him.
My whole family stood there while he beat me encouraged him on as he
beat me with a stick and a belt. When I was so beaten i couldn't move
he took my phone to the police. I don't know what he told the police,
but they traced my boyfriend's no. to his home. It was 4 or 5 am in
the morning my father and the police threatened my boyfriend to send
him to jail if he ever talked to me again. I was so hurt I stayed at
home more than a week. Then I went to school to find out what happened
to him because nobody told me what had happened only my boyfriend
afterwards. I was ashamed and the only way I could contact him was
through email I was sure he would leave me because nobody would ever
let that happen to them and then stay.
He continued to talk to me and that was it I told him everything. He
stayed with me through such a bad time when had just begun to know
each other. I have never been able to thank him properly for that.
After that incident I was locked at home, no after school activities,
no going to meet friends, no cellphone, no computer and no phone calls
even on my home phone. I would write emails for my friends to send my
boyfriend and sometimes I would get a secret phone from my friends.
That year I tried to kill myself twice my life had turned to worse
than hell. Everyday beatings everyday misery I just wanted to die, but
my boyfriend kept me standing by the end of the year. After the school
year finished my father took me out of school. He made me take my
exams in October that I needed two more of years of study to take. I
didn't have any contact with my boyfriend that whole summer from June
to august at which a teacher of mine gave me a secret phone. After my
October November o level exams finished I was sent to tutions for my A
levels. The next year I went to school because my father was advised
too. I went to my school, but soon my dad beat me so bad that my head
needed 6 stitches from hitting me with a hockey stick. Earlier that
year my stepmom multiple times tried to kill me and throw me out of
the house. Even one time tried to shoot me with my father's gun. At
times the whole family would join in beating me. When that stitches
incident happened I had had enough I ran away from home to a shelter
for abused women. My father took the police again to my boyfriend's
house and told the American embassy he must of kidnapped me and rapped
me. I went to court against my father to help my boyfriend out of
wrongfully being accused. My father begged me to come back and my
boyfriend told me to because there was no where for me to go the
American embassy could only send me to USA and I couldn't be parted
from my boyfriend. With all the problems I scored just decent grades
everyone didn't expect that because of the tension I was in. My father
spent the whole summer forcing me to apply to medicine in Pakistan
with my grades in Pakistan was 0% chance I'd get in. I wasted away the
whole admission time doing what my father wanted so I got a year off.
My father moved to England to start his PhD in November 2010. He was
trying to force me to come to England, but I had no interest in losing
the little contact I had with the only person who was there for me. My
stepmom and grandparents continued beating me. In JJanuary it was so
bad I had ran away to my relative' because I knew no where else to go.
They did not wantt keep me as my grandma kept telling them to kick me
out or she will tell the police to go get me. They kept me till my
stepmother and siblings moved to England to be with my dad.
When I was sent home my grandparents told me to find a new residence
immediately. I didn't know what to do. My father was harassing me and
threatening me to come to England constantly, but I was too afraid to
lose my boyfriend. In the end we made a compromise that if I come here
I only have to stay 2 months. I knew in those two months I came here I
would have to contact someone for furthersuport. The American
consulate and other authorities made it clear that if they do anything
is to sendmeto USA which I can't allow. I can't have anything happen
to my dad or have us seperated also because if I am to marry my
boyfriend in Pakistan it is required I have my family there and not
broken. I also need to insure my dad doesn't harass my boyfriend's
again or they will have nothing to do with me as they have given me
many chaces to control my dad. I have to get back to pakistan, but I
require money to live there and continue my residence there. I have
searched for grants and stuff long hours, but with my complicated
circumstances I have found none. Everyday I spend hours dreaming and
hoping I don't know how I still can after everything. I need help and
I bag for it because I am desperate I can't live any longer un this
fear and dread. I have no friends really because my father scared
most of them away. I have no relations with my siblings even they are
so young yet thet insult me when I walk into the room. They were
taught by my stepmom to hate the sight of me and it breaks my heart
because I love children so much.
I don't know there is no lie in this I tried to tell you all I could
in an email. I need help and I need it soon. I hope someone who so
easily could help me will jz take a step and help because thats what
people should do especially those lucky and more forunate people.
Please contact me back asap.I swear every word is true. I have to
leave in a monthes time I wish for settlement before that. I just want
a normal life is that so bad. I just one to be the only person who has
ever cared for me.
